


Hair

by MissCloudySunshine



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Dwarf & Hobbit Cultural Differences, Gen, Hair, cultural enlightenment, hair is important, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9264497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCloudySunshine/pseuds/MissCloudySunshine
Summary: The most impressionable thing about a Hobbit to outsiders was their large hairy feet.  Hobbits though, are more complicated than what most see them.  Hobbits, much like Dwarrows, hold close to their chest the secrets of their culture and race.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoy the stories that peek into the culture differences between hobbits and dwarrows. This little idea about the importance of hair just would not leave me alone. I ended up with a couple other bits and bobs that don't really correlate with hair, but kinda goes with the general theme I was going for in this story.
> 
> I do not gain profit nor own any aspect of the world J.R. Tolkein created.  
> Enjoy!

Hobbits are not well known to the world at large. The few that do know them see them as simple little creatures that are happy to make merry with friends and family over a good meal and drink, fussing and bumbling about their daily lives, manners and courtesy a deeply ingrained habit of the species as a whole. The most impressionable thing about a Hobbit to outsiders was their large hairy feet. Hobbits though, are more complicated than what most see them. Hobbits, much like Dwarrows, hold close to their chest the secrets of their culture and race. 

\---  
"Lad, would ye please put some boots on?" Balin was concerned about the smallest member of their company. They were traversing rocky ground and the small fellow continued to travel with no shoes. Fili and Kili were hovering about the Hobbit, boots they had procured in a settlement large enough for the Hobbit's feet waved around the Hobbit's head.

Bilbo was steadfast in ignoring the youngest of the dwarrow, stepping around and under the boys as he continued to march on. He looked over at Balin and smiled gently. "I am fine Master Balin. Hobbits don't wear shoes."

\---

"Lad, you are going to get muddy regardless, stop tiptoeing and slowing us." Dwalin grunted from behind the Hobbit as he gave the small man a gentle push. His gentle push resulted in sending Bilbo stumbling directly into a large section of mud on the trail, mud splashing up around Bilbo's calves, his feet submerged up to his ankles in mire. The other members of the company laughing at the scene brewing.

Bilbo froze for half a second, looking down at his feet and the now matted hair covering them. His mouth opened and closed a few times, before he drew in a deep breath and drew himself up. He turned an annoyed glare to the large dwarf behind him, nose twitching. "I realize I will end up muddy before we stop for the night, Master Dwalin. I was hoping to avoid unnecessary mess though." 

Dwalin chuckled at the little fellow frozen up to his ankles in mud. "Yer travelin', Halfling. There is no such thing as unnecessary mess. Stop being fussy." 

Bilbo's eyes sharpened. He started to stretch down to the mud before stopping himself. He sniffed at his large traveling companion, eyes still sharp and glaring. "Hobbits are not half of anything."

\---

"Ye've lost weight." Oin barked, poking at the Hobbit's stomach, which didn't fill his shirt and vest as it once did. "Ye've been eating, yes?"

Bilbo darted back from Oin's grabbing hands and seeking fingers. "Yes, I've been eating." He frowned at the old Dwarf.

"Are ye sick?" Oin's bushy eye brows were high as he ignored the dodging man and swiftly grabbed his wrist, checking a pulse. His other hand made contact with the Hobbit's forehead, checking for a fever.  
Bilbo huffed as he wriggled out of Oin's grasp. "I'm fine. Weight loss is to be expected when I don't eat as much as I usually do. It's rude to point out such things, you know."

Thorin was suddenly behind the Hobbit, hands resting on Bilbo's shoulders. "He is only concerned, Bilbo."

Bilbo sighed, shoulders slumping. Thorin had been aggravating in his hovering since he had saved him from death by Azog. "I am fine. As I said to Oin, it is only because I am not eating as much as a Hobbit usually does."

"How much do you lot usually eat?" Bofur called out.

Bilbo did not want to answer them. He knew the Dwarrows had led a harsh life since being forced out of their mountain. Thorin's gentle squeeze to his shoulders though made it clear he wasn't getting out of this until he answered. "Hobbits usually partake of 7 meals a day."

The abrupt silence of his traveling companions made it possible for him to escape to a nearby stream.

\---

"What's he doing Kee?"

"No idea, Fee. "

"Why would he come down here by himself with a mirror and a blade?"

"Fee, I already told you I had no idea."

They both watched in horror as Bilbo gently lathered his face and brought a sharp blade down on his cheeks.   
"Is he shaving?!" the furious whisper nearly shook the brush they were hiding in.

"Is he shammed?!"

Bilbo swiftly washed his face and patted his smooth cheeks, a cheerful smile lighting up his features.

"He certainly doesn't look shammed." Fili observed.

Bilbo washed the blade before slipping it into a leather sheath before digging out a pair of scissors. He looked at himself in his mirror, turning his head left and right, fingers combing through messy curls before shrugging and putting his scissors back in the small leather pouch they came from.

"He was about to cut his hair." Kili moaned quietly, gripping his long locks protectively.

"Maybe it's a Hobbit thing?" Fili tentatively questioned, stroking his own hair gently.

\---

"Do Hobbits grow hair anywhere other than their heads and feet?"

Bilbo blinked, startled by the highly personal question just asked of him by Ori. The young dwarf only looked at him, eyes wide and curious. Fili and Kili were also paying special attention to how Bilbo would answer, hands straying to their hair. Bilbo coughed and looked away. "Yes we do."

"Do Hobbits grow beards?"

Bilbo frowned and sighed. "We can."

"Is it personal preference if a Hobbit chooses to grow a beard or not?" 

Bilbo pinched at his nose. Sweet Ori was just curious. He did not know how rude his questioning was. "It's a bit more complicated than that." He stuttered out, uncomfortable with the conversation. He knew that Dwarrows valued their hair and beards. Quite similar to the way a Hobbit took pride in their foot hair.

"How so?"

Bilbo coughed and cleared his throat, stalling. He now had twelve other curious sets of eyes on him, waiting for his answer. "Hobbit lasses only have hair upon their heads and feet." He decided to start with that. Thirteen heads nodded, eyes serious. He cleared his throat once more. "Hobbit lads…well, Hobbits as a whole value their foot hair."

Ori looked at his feet, noticing that Bilbo's foot hair was neatly combed and shining. "How valued?"

Bilbo coughed and looked up. "A bit like Dwarrows value their beards." As one, every eye turned to Dwalin, who had the grace to look embarrassed, remembering the instance weeks ago when he had shoved the diminutive man into mud and laughed at him. Balin shuffled awkwardly, remembering trying to force a pair of shoes on the lad.

"What about beards?" Gloin asked.

"Erm, well, that's a bit different. It's all about the Hobbit." Bilbo stuttered. He didn't want to anger his comrades.  
"What do you mean?" Kili pressed in close to Bilbo.

"Well, erm, you must remember that Hobbits are quite different from Dwarrow." Bilbo coughed nervously at the understanding nods from the company. He took in a deep breath, ready for outrage. "Well, Hobbits see growing a beard as, oh dear, well you see we really are quite particular about certain things."

"Bilbo, just tell us." Thorin rumbled from behind him, a hand grasping his shoulder.

"Oh dear, this isn't going to end well." Bilbo moaned quietly to himself. Looking at his comrades and seeing confusion and apprehension, he blurted out the answer they wanted. "Hobbits only grow a beard in mourning or if they are particularly lazy. A beard is not seen as a good thing by Hobbits."

Silence as the company stared at him with wide eyes.

Bilbo looked at them all. Well, might as well go for broke. "We also regularly trim out hair, so it doesn't get too long. Especially the lads. Long hair is considered unrespectable." Wide eyes continued to look at him, as hands grabbed at facial hair and tresses. "Well, I erm, did tell you that Hobbits are ahm, different from you lot." Bilbo stuttered out.

"He has a pouch with a blade and scissors in it!" Kili warned the group.

"Don't touch me with those!" Gloin grabbed furiously at his beard and hair.

Bilbo sighed and looked at the various members of his company, throwing his hands to the heavens as they covered their faces and heads. "Big babes, the lot of you! Hobbits know when to leave well enough alone."


End file.
